This is What a Weekend Feels Like :)

Life in Stillwater is officially over. And life in St. Paul is in full swing! I have been living in the Bethel off campus housing (fountain terrace) for about a month now! WOW! Time sure flies! My roommate, Amanda, wont be moving in until next weekend. At first, living alone really sucked! But in some ways, I have become accustomed to living alone. In a lot of ways, though, it has been pretty lonely.

Over the past 2 weeks, life has been pretty hectic. I resigned from my job as the Director of Children's Ministry. Making that decision was one of the hardest things I have had to do. But I know it is for the best, even though I miss the kids at the church like crazy! I decided that the time commitment of that position, as well as the stress level, was going to be too much for me to continue working there while going to grad school. Instead, I will be working about 25 hours a week as a nanny-a low stress job, where I can leave work at work. My last day at church was about 2 weeks ago. And then I headed to Colorado for 10 days with my mom, brother, and grandma to visit my Uncle. It was a great trip and I enjoyed being with my family, but it didnt seem like a vacation because we were always on the go. And my family started to drive me crazy! ha ha But now that I'm home, I wish I could be on vacation still. I really loved Colorado, and the mountains, and am seriously thinking about moving there after I finish Seminary. We will see where life leads me.

Since being home from vacation, I went straight to work and worked long days. But it was great to see my nanny kids again! I missed them so much while I was on vacation! Today was my first official day "off" and this weekend is my first weekend off since January!!!! SO this is what a weekend feels like! I definitely love consecutive days off. I spent today at the Minnesota State Fair with my friend Christina. We saw many of the main attractions at the fair, including the lumberjack show! And, of course, we ate our way through! I shared cheese curds with Christina and then enjoyed an apple cider freezie (very yummy!!) and a cherry sno cone. And then I took home a small bag of kettle corn and, of course, I couldnt leave the fair without a caramel apple! YUM! This was my first visit to the fair "on my own". I have always went with my parents. And even then, I have only went twice or so. But I effectively navigated the bus system and rode for free! And then found my way back to my car with my friend Christina. When I got home, I was so dirty (and hot) from the fair that I jumped right in the shower. It appears that I gained a new foot tan at the fair from my sandals too! I thought my feet were just that dirty. Nope! ha ha Now I'm just relaxing and planning for my Sunday :) Church with my friend Katie before she leaves to Ghana for an entire year! Maybe life isn't so bad, but finding balance is hard!

Moving Out, Moving Up, and Moving On

Life in Stillwater has been an experience and a joy. It has been where I took my first step of true independence, living on my own for the first time! I have learned a great deal about myself in this place...what I really like, dislike, how I function, my needs, and even developed a greater understanding of what it means to be an adult and who God is amidst all of the chaos of change. Today I packed up all that has embodied these "Stillwater Experiences" and prepared to fully embrace the idea, and reality, of moving out. Tomorrow my mom and grandma are coming to help me continue packing and to move all of my small stuff (boxes, etc.). On Monday I will be able to officially pick up the keys for my new apartment and we will clean the place up and unpack a bit before I make the complete "move-in" on Tuesday. Then I will be living life alone for about the next month before my new roommate, Amanda moves in. Amanda is coming to Minnesota all the way from Kentucky! I can't wait to meet her! Life after college has been super lonely and I haven't felt all that close to my current roommate, so I'm excited to start a friendship with someone else who is in the same phase of life as me. Amanda and I have been emailing like crazy and I can tell we are going to get along great! Can't wait to meet her! And I can't wait to be all unpacked at my new place near Bethel, where I will be attending Seminary starting in September. I am so excited to live in community again! I have definitely missed that aspect of college!

While moving day is going to be great to just get it over with, it is also going to be stressful because I am so "Type A" and can't stand all of my stuff being so unorganized and all in boxes! ha ha Can't wait to get unpacked and make it through these next 3 weeks. After move in day, I have a few days to get settled and then Vacation Bible School starts at my church! AH! So not ready, but I'm sure it will go great. And then only 1 week left after that and I'll be done with my job at church so that I can just focus on grad school. That will be such a relief, but it has also been one of the hardest things I have done. I will probably cry on my last day of working there. Tomorrow I am teaching Children's Worship Hour, which is basically the children's message during the regular message/sermon. I get to teach the kids about missionaries and how God calls us all to tell others about Jesus! So exciting! I just love experiencing kids embracing and understanding the Gospel! :) Such a joy and definitely one of the things I will miss about my job at the church.

Just because the "job" part of my life involving children's ministry will be coming to an end, doesn't mean that I want to be done doing ministry with children at all!!! I am definitely going to volunteer with the children's ministry at the new church which I have started going to, Substance. I'm really excited to be able to invest there and make connections. It is a really young church and I think I will find a lot of ways to get involved, be challenged, and experience growth. I have been longing for all of these things since I graduated from college and began this transition into the "real world". Honestly, it hasn't been such a "bad" transition, but I know it could have been so much better! I am finally starting to learn life balance skills and can't wait to see how Bethel is going to continue to grow me in that, through the power of the Holy Spirit that is.

Tonight as I was packing up some boxes, I came across one of my fav Max Lucado books, which was actually one that my mom gave me as a graduation gift when I graduated from college. I can't remember the exact title, but it was something about an oak tree and an acorn. The story is all about this acorn trying to figure out what to be and what to do with its new, separate life. And as I was reading it, it finally hit me! Just as the acorn just needed to rest and allow God to make it into what he wanted it to be, that's all I need to do too. I need to rest in God. Go to HIM first and allow HIM to transform me into the person He wants me to be. I find that I am continually seeking to become something more. But I often leave the pressure of the change on myself, when in reality, only God can change me. So as my Saturday comes to an end, I'm resting in that truth. That God will make me who he wants me to be, and no amount of striving on my part will ever change that. Day 1 of life in the balance is a-okay and I definitely can see that today was for the best and I'm believing that for tomorrow too! :)