WOW! It's Wednesday!!!

The weekend sure flew right by...and apparently this week is flying by as well! It's already hump day. The weekend was amazing though!!! Getting to see so many summer project friends...including the newly weds Liz and Garrett Davis!!! AH! So exciting! The picture below is from all of us at the wedding. Love these people and miss them soooo much!



After catching up with everyone at the wedding, my friend Jeff suggested we have a blog for us all to stay updated on what's happening with everyone. We thought Ben Tesch would be the man for the job....but then I got to thinking - "Why couldn't I make us a blog!? I blog." So that's my new project. Making a group blog. Not sure if people will really follow it, or even how I should approach this idea....but I'm excited for it! Especially since I am seriously thinking about getting rid of my facebook account. It's just taking up too much of my time.

So I'm officially on day 3 of full time seminary. Still a crazy thought to me and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. It is all very interesting stuff to be learning, but this week I"m just really busy and don't know when I'm going to have time to do all of the reading. I guess that's why I get 2 weeks for "reading weeks" with no class...so that I can catch up! ha ha This weekend I am spending the weekend with Zoe and Jaden...nannying ALL weekend long! Pretty excited for this! Hopefully it will be relaxing and fun :)

Well...I guess I should get to some of that reading which I seem to have so much of. At least I get to carve pumpkins tonight at Bible Study! Can't wait for that!!! I even have a porch to put the final pumpkin on :) YAY!

Finally Friday! :)

Woo hoo! It's finally Friday! It has been quite a week! It definitely dragged on and on and on. Seems like last Friday was almost 3 weeks ago!! This week was full of finishing up my 2 week September School class (which meant writing a super long reflection paper), nannying, attending a 4 hour seminar on how to do research!!!! (biggest waste of my life)....and well maybe that's it...but it seemed like a ton! I went to bed at 8:30pm last night because I was soooo exhausted from it all. But now the weekend is here! And it's off to a decent start!

Highlights from my Friday:
1. Only worked until 2pm
2. Pay day!
3. Ate ice cream .... for dinner :) Or at least started dinner with dessert. Have been craving Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream all week! Delicious!
4. Showered in the afternoon ha ha
5. Took time to lay on the couch and watch a movie
6. Ordered tickets for my mom and I to go to Women of Faith at the Xcel Center in October!



And to top it all off!!!! I just realized that Halloween is coming....which means pumpkin carving...and I have a porch this year to put pumpkins on!!!! :) Soooo excited about this!

So my Friday has been pretty relaxing...but my weekend in general is PACKED full!

Saturday I am attending the All Seminary Retreat at Bethel until 2:30. Can't wait to meet more sem students! And then my dear friends, Athena and Maggie (who I went to Australia with last summer!!), will be coming to visit for our lovely friends Liz and Garrett's wedding on Sunday!! Soooo excited for these 2 to get married :) <3 Monday because I start classes at the Seminary! AH! :)

Well...I think its early to bed for me tonight...so that I can stay awake for all the fun this weekend! :) Happy Friday!

But the Lord Determines My Steps

So today officially marked my last day of September School class at Bethel Seminary. I learned the mircroskills of counseling and honed in on my acting abilities as I role played counseling sessions every day for the past 2 weeks. It was only a basic counseling skills course, but I think I learned more in the past 2 weeks that I did through all of college! At least in terms of applicable work knowledge and such. The past 2 weeks definitely weren't a cake walk. I think I broke down in tears on more than one occasion as I battled with God over where he is calling me in all of this. I have realized that I just have a lot of fear. I'm afraid to actually do what I want. I have always thought of being a counselor, but never saw it as a possibility for me. I have also always just wanted to be a stay-at-home mom...so then how does grad school fit into that picture?? Luckily, and strangely, enough part of the class requirements included writing a reflection paper on my calling to counseling, my strengths and limitations within the practice, and where God is at in my journey. I actually enjoyed writing this paper! So much so that I put it off until the last minute because I was stressing out over it and then stayed up until 2am to finish it because I was on a roll! ha ha But after writing this reflection, and actually reflecting on my experiences and what God might be calling me to, I have realized that I am exactly where God wants me...even if it isn't necessarily my first choice. But then again...it is almost like a dream come true.

I have been feeling so beyond blessed over the past few weeks. I graduated with a 4 year degree - debt FREE! and now I'm at Bethel!! Bethel of all places. A Christian school that in some ways I always day dreamed about attending. And now here I am! And working towards my MASTERS. My teachers pray for me before I take tests or leave class! Its just all so crazy and surreal. And to top it all off I'm living in a cute little apartment, still getting to see my best friend from college on a fairly regular basis, have found a great church community and have even started to make some great new friends. I also have the best family who continues to support me in my craziness and indecisive confused moments. Its just so weird because this is never the way I saw my life going. In a lot of ways, I'm loving it. But in many ways I'm also missing home like crazy. The Proverbs are full of so much wisdom and are a good reminder - Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." But I'm still missing the little things in life that you take for granted when you live in a small town. I wish there was a way to combine St. Paul and Cornell. But I think I have always wished I could combine Cornell with wherever I was living.

I guess God has me exactly where he wants me. I cant always tell why he wants me here or what he is doing, but I'm going to trust him that he is working out the best. Paul reminds us in Romans 8:28 "In ALL things God works for the good of those who love him." That is super encouraging in this time of confusion.

This is What a Weekend Feels Like :)

Life in Stillwater is officially over. And life in St. Paul is in full swing! I have been living in the Bethel off campus housing (fountain terrace) for about a month now! WOW! Time sure flies! My roommate, Amanda, wont be moving in until next weekend. At first, living alone really sucked! But in some ways, I have become accustomed to living alone. In a lot of ways, though, it has been pretty lonely.

Over the past 2 weeks, life has been pretty hectic. I resigned from my job as the Director of Children's Ministry. Making that decision was one of the hardest things I have had to do. But I know it is for the best, even though I miss the kids at the church like crazy! I decided that the time commitment of that position, as well as the stress level, was going to be too much for me to continue working there while going to grad school. Instead, I will be working about 25 hours a week as a nanny-a low stress job, where I can leave work at work. My last day at church was about 2 weeks ago. And then I headed to Colorado for 10 days with my mom, brother, and grandma to visit my Uncle. It was a great trip and I enjoyed being with my family, but it didnt seem like a vacation because we were always on the go. And my family started to drive me crazy! ha ha But now that I'm home, I wish I could be on vacation still. I really loved Colorado, and the mountains, and am seriously thinking about moving there after I finish Seminary. We will see where life leads me.

Since being home from vacation, I went straight to work and worked long days. But it was great to see my nanny kids again! I missed them so much while I was on vacation! Today was my first official day "off" and this weekend is my first weekend off since January!!!! SO this is what a weekend feels like! I definitely love consecutive days off. I spent today at the Minnesota State Fair with my friend Christina. We saw many of the main attractions at the fair, including the lumberjack show! And, of course, we ate our way through! I shared cheese curds with Christina and then enjoyed an apple cider freezie (very yummy!!) and a cherry sno cone. And then I took home a small bag of kettle corn and, of course, I couldnt leave the fair without a caramel apple! YUM! This was my first visit to the fair "on my own". I have always went with my parents. And even then, I have only went twice or so. But I effectively navigated the bus system and rode for free! And then found my way back to my car with my friend Christina. When I got home, I was so dirty (and hot) from the fair that I jumped right in the shower. It appears that I gained a new foot tan at the fair from my sandals too! I thought my feet were just that dirty. Nope! ha ha Now I'm just relaxing and planning for my Sunday :) Church with my friend Katie before she leaves to Ghana for an entire year! Maybe life isn't so bad, but finding balance is hard!

Moving Out, Moving Up, and Moving On

Life in Stillwater has been an experience and a joy. It has been where I took my first step of true independence, living on my own for the first time! I have learned a great deal about myself in this place...what I really like, dislike, how I function, my needs, and even developed a greater understanding of what it means to be an adult and who God is amidst all of the chaos of change. Today I packed up all that has embodied these "Stillwater Experiences" and prepared to fully embrace the idea, and reality, of moving out. Tomorrow my mom and grandma are coming to help me continue packing and to move all of my small stuff (boxes, etc.). On Monday I will be able to officially pick up the keys for my new apartment and we will clean the place up and unpack a bit before I make the complete "move-in" on Tuesday. Then I will be living life alone for about the next month before my new roommate, Amanda moves in. Amanda is coming to Minnesota all the way from Kentucky! I can't wait to meet her! Life after college has been super lonely and I haven't felt all that close to my current roommate, so I'm excited to start a friendship with someone else who is in the same phase of life as me. Amanda and I have been emailing like crazy and I can tell we are going to get along great! Can't wait to meet her! And I can't wait to be all unpacked at my new place near Bethel, where I will be attending Seminary starting in September. I am so excited to live in community again! I have definitely missed that aspect of college!

While moving day is going to be great to just get it over with, it is also going to be stressful because I am so "Type A" and can't stand all of my stuff being so unorganized and all in boxes! ha ha Can't wait to get unpacked and make it through these next 3 weeks. After move in day, I have a few days to get settled and then Vacation Bible School starts at my church! AH! So not ready, but I'm sure it will go great. And then only 1 week left after that and I'll be done with my job at church so that I can just focus on grad school. That will be such a relief, but it has also been one of the hardest things I have done. I will probably cry on my last day of working there. Tomorrow I am teaching Children's Worship Hour, which is basically the children's message during the regular message/sermon. I get to teach the kids about missionaries and how God calls us all to tell others about Jesus! So exciting! I just love experiencing kids embracing and understanding the Gospel! :) Such a joy and definitely one of the things I will miss about my job at the church.

Just because the "job" part of my life involving children's ministry will be coming to an end, doesn't mean that I want to be done doing ministry with children at all!!! I am definitely going to volunteer with the children's ministry at the new church which I have started going to, Substance. I'm really excited to be able to invest there and make connections. It is a really young church and I think I will find a lot of ways to get involved, be challenged, and experience growth. I have been longing for all of these things since I graduated from college and began this transition into the "real world". Honestly, it hasn't been such a "bad" transition, but I know it could have been so much better! I am finally starting to learn life balance skills and can't wait to see how Bethel is going to continue to grow me in that, through the power of the Holy Spirit that is.

Tonight as I was packing up some boxes, I came across one of my fav Max Lucado books, which was actually one that my mom gave me as a graduation gift when I graduated from college. I can't remember the exact title, but it was something about an oak tree and an acorn. The story is all about this acorn trying to figure out what to be and what to do with its new, separate life. And as I was reading it, it finally hit me! Just as the acorn just needed to rest and allow God to make it into what he wanted it to be, that's all I need to do too. I need to rest in God. Go to HIM first and allow HIM to transform me into the person He wants me to be. I find that I am continually seeking to become something more. But I often leave the pressure of the change on myself, when in reality, only God can change me. So as my Saturday comes to an end, I'm resting in that truth. That God will make me who he wants me to be, and no amount of striving on my part will ever change that. Day 1 of life in the balance is a-okay and I definitely can see that today was for the best and I'm believing that for tomorrow too! :)