Dos and Don'ts

"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all" 

~Thumper 

I think it's fair to say, we all got this down pretty well as kids as we slowly figured out what was 'nice' and what was 'not'. Now, as a pregnant woman, I have come to realize that 'nice' and 'not nice' is sometimes somewhat unclear...at least when it comes to talking to a pregnant woman. In my 24 years of life as a non-pregnant woman, it is now becoming apparent to me that I have made several comments to pregnant women that were a little on the 'not so nice'. 

"Wow! You look huge!"

"You sure are getting big!" 

"It's weird seeing you so big!" 

"Look at the size of your belly!"

I'm not sure whatever possessed me, and others that I'm sure have made similar comments, to think that making comments about a pregnant woman's size and belly were anything but slightly 'not so nice'. I guess some women may revel in hearing that they are finally getting a belly. For me, on the other hand, I feel like when people notice that my belly is getting big, they are also noticing I'm as fat as I feel. In my book, this is definitely 'not nice', although I am sure it is always well meaning. 

Instead, here is what I think pregnant women really want to hear: 

"Oh my goodness! You are so cute!" 

"You are the cutest pregnant lady I have ever seen!" 

"You look great!" 

So far, I have been blessed enough to mainly have only gotten the above comments from women who have themselves already been pregnant and know what to tell a girl. Let me tell you...these comments seriously MADE MY DAY! :) 

On a funny note, one of the girls in the high school small group that I co-lead at church did tell me after not seeing me since Christmas "You have gotten huge since I saw you last." Very cute and well meaning and I definitely laughed, but not a pregnant lady's dream come true. 

So here are a few tips on talking to pregnant women: 

DO

• Tell a pregnant woman how great she looks 
• Compliment her in any and every way possible...she is probably feeling anything but cute, and your sweet comments will seriously Make. Her. Day! :) 
• In the early stages of pregnancy, tell her how tiny she still looks
• Be sure to tell her she is cute 

DON'T

• Comment on the size of her belly (unless early on and you are saying she is tiny) 
• Refer to her as huge, large, big, or any other descriptive word that does not imply cute, perfect and radiant ;) 

So there you have it. It's that simple. And if you are still unsure if what you want to tell her is appropriate, just remember what Thumper's dad told him and maybe just....

"Don't say nothing at all."